"I am a sweetheart, I am a prom queen, I am some puppies. What, Daisy?"
Abdullah The Butcher is a "Wildman from Sudan," known for having the most unique and recognizable set of "moobs," on the planet as well as for his signature maneuver: "stabbing someone with a fork."
His motivation, as with other wild-people from weird countries, seems like it may be that he actually wants to eat people
He also operates a restaurant in Atlanta called "Abdullah The Butcher's House of Ribs and Chinese Food."
I've gotta credit Ash for asking if they serve foreheads there. I don't know, man ... I don't know.
The Headbangers: "Headbangers"
The Headbangers are typical of heavy metal enthusiasts in that they wear kilts and Marilyn Manson (or occasionally White Zombie) t-shirts wherever they go, since these have been universally acknowledged as the greatest heavy metal bands of all time. Come to think of it, I may put my kilt on and listen to a bit of the ol' Marilyn Manson later. One of them sometimes wears one of those chains that you connect from your nose-ring to your earring, which I always thought were a bad idea, for obvious reasons. He wisely removed it before wrestling. The Headbangers were also were in the habit of "moshing," with each other in the ring, which, as we all know, is more or less the same as jumping around like a retard.
They may also have been involved in some capacity with the Columbine school shootings.
The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers: "People from Quebec"
People from Quebec are Canadian but also French, and being French in wrestling is the equivalent of being gay. Not only do they hate America's freedom but also have a superior attitude, prefer wine to Budweiser and kiss each other on both cheeks.
r
rAdorable Adrian Adonis: "Gay People"
Adrian Adonis is a guy who, at one point, just decided to start wearing scarves and rouge, (a sure sign of gayness) also pink tights. It wasn't clear if his gayness was a lifestyle choice or just to psych people out. Whoever he was wrestling would be super creeped-out that he might somehow touch their butt or something.
His opponent would be like, "What the hell? Is this guy wearing a bonnet and leg-warmers? - Bam! - Elbow to the face! Sneaky.
"Foreign Objects"
Before I can even remember knowing what the word "foreign," meant, (except maybe from the band Foreigner) I knew what a "foreign object," was. It doesn't mean that an object needs a passport to get into a country and a green card to work, or that certain objects don't speak the same "object language," as each other and sometimes go on vacation to other "object countries," and take lots of pictures and then call the "object consulate," if they get pick-pocketed and lose their ID or something.
Nope, it doesn't mean that at all. A foreign object is something that doesn't belong in the ring, near the ring or maybe the area. This doesn't include guns as they evidently don't have metal detectors for wrestlers to walk through on the way to the ring. Our buddy Abdullah would be pretty hooped, in that case wouldn't he?
I am old enough to actually remember referees "patting down," the wrestlers like they're getting jacked up by the cops or something. In my youthful naivete I didn't even know what "getting jacked up by the cops," meant yet, but I knew that the reason none of the refs ever found anything is because the best place in the world to hide something bad is right in your sweaty "dick and balls," area at the front of your wrestling tights, cause they can't really grab on to your junk for very long or anything, (I'm glad to have known this information when I was eight). The other added bonus is that, by the time you pull it out, that weird sort of homemade shiv they sometimes use has been marinating in ball-sweat for about half an hour, adding insult to injury (and maybe giving them a nice infection while you're at it). Lastly, I'm also extremely grateful to have sort of known what a shiv was, when I was eight.
