"Straight as an arrow. Defect, defect. Not straight, not so straight. Reject, reject."
Awesome Hall of Fame: Man Can
That would be the bad boy to the extreme right. Of course, it's more or less impossible to drink this enormous beer without half of it going warm and turning to swill almost immediately but look how fucking big it is!
Hall of Total Bullshit: "The Dead"
Q: "What did the Deadhead say when he ran out of drugs?"
"A: "What's this awful music?"
When I heard Greg Ginn say in an interview that the Grateful Dead were his favorite band, I actually wept.
Awesome Hall of Fame: Cross-tops
These handy little pick-me-ups used to be available right next to the beef jerky at the counter of convenience stores across the United States. Unlike No-Doz it turns out they are not "safe as coffee," and a number of people actually had their hearts explode and died as a result of too much Ephedrine, their active ingredient. Way back in my youth when I didn't know this yet, it sure was fun to gulp 'em down like candy.
You might to be an okay idea but why don't you ever fucking work properly? Asshole!
Like good movies? You're welcome.
Having to even wear pants, actually.
Imagine you are a small-time drug fiend somewhere in America. You get jacked by the cops cuffed, read your rights and then, as you're yanked to your feet, looking up into the bloated, jowly face of Steven Seagal. Would you not think that you had completely lost touch with reality once and for all? At the very least it makes for compelling television. I also think you would quit smoking crystal meth immediately.
Why do you exist? How much less do you actually cost than toilet paper that can actually hold together enough to be used for it's intended purpose? Does the idiot who purchased you know how unpleasant and impossible you are to work with? Do they know it is necessary to use an entire roll of you to do the equivalent job of a few small pieces of regular paper? I suspect not.
I wonder if anyone has ever gotten a tattoo of Tattoo. That would be stupid but awesome
Hall of Total Bullshit: Braided Goatee
Dumb.
