"They saved Hitler's cock. They hid it under a rock."
You may not know the face or even recognize the name but this fruitcake is personally responsible for much of what sucked shit in the last three decades. Let's check out this resume. Desmond Child, this is your life. 
Wow
- After his own band, Desmond Child and Rouge, tanked, he was recruited by Paul Stanley to help write "I Was Made For Loving You," otherwise known as KISS's disco tune. It charted high and is to this day nearly universally reviled by the dorks that consider themselves hardcore KISS fans. He went on to write tunes on Animalize, Asylum, Crazy Nights & Hot In The Shade during KISS' non-make-up poofy hair glam rock period.
- He went on to pen bubble-gum metal anthems "You Give Love A Bad Name," "Livin' On A Prayer," and "Bad Medicine," with Bon Jovi, who always have and will suck, so no biggie there.
From there "I Hate Myself For Loving You" a decent Joan Jett tune from her unspectacular "Up Your Alley".It gets worse - He co-wrote all of Alice Cooper's Trash album a giant hunk of shit, which ended up in the trash after I made the poor decision to buy it. The track "Poison" could have been written by the band Poison. This album also prominently features Kip Winger, as a co-writer. Kip, besides serving as a living 80's punchline, fronted the band Winger, who I have to assume were awful, since I can't think of one good reason why the fuck would I would actually bother sitting down and listening to them. Y'know?
Then he went on to co-write "Dude Looks Like A Lady" with Aerosmith, taking brutally annoying to a completely new level schmaltzy rock ballads. ("Angel," anyone? "Crazy"? are you barfing in your own mouth yet?) That opened the flood gates for them to follow the same formula and polluted the airwaves a dozen other times, including the song from that stupid meteor movie. Thanks.
The problem I have with this guy is that he helped popularize the commercial radio friendly rock ballad, ruining a lot of decent bands directly or indirectly in the 80's and influencing countless more. The songs he writes with flat-out awful, annoying artists; "Livin' La Vida Loca" and "She Bangs" with Ricky Martin, "How Am I Supposed To Live Without You" by Michael goddamned fucking Bolton for Christ's sake by are catchy like SARS and twice as devastating. They ooze out of the speakers from a.m. radio and burrow into your eardrums, straight into your brain like that worm in "Wrath of Khan".
Other career lowlights include;
Clay Aiken, Bo Bice and Kelly Clarkson from ... that show (queasy).
Bif Naked "I Love Myself Today (barfing),
RuPaul (continuing to barf),
Roxette (barfing violently),
Boyzone (wow, that's a lotta barf), whoa ...
"The Thong Song" by Sisquo (laughing a little and starting to choke on barf).
Wow. Good job, dude. Way to whore yourself out to the absolute bottom of the sub-sub-barrel and make music that much shittier in the process.
Fuck you, Desmond. Fuck you right in the ear.
